Four Ways You Can Protect Your Children From the Effects of Your Divorce

 Posted on April 29, 2020 in Divorce

Having a child puts everything into perspective. Instead of focusing on yourself, your goal is to make sure your children are happy, healthy, and grow up to be successful, well-adjusted adults. Many people falsely believe that the best situation for children is having two parents who are in a relationship with one another, but staying together for the kids can actually do more harm than getting a divorce.

Studies have shown that children who are subject to constant stress and conflict have more issues with anxiety, depression, anger, and social difficulties. However, there are also studies that show children whose parents divorced are actually well-adjusted and successful, suggesting there is a way you can help your children through divorce.

Helping Your Children Through the Process

If you are getting a divorce, you should be proactive about how you deal with the situation if you have children. Here are a few ways you can minimize the impact your divorce has on your children:

• Choose a cooperative divorce process. One of the ways you can minimize the stress your divorce has on your children is choosing the right divorce process. In many cases, it has been found that the traditional process of litigation can be highly stressful for all people involved, including the children. If you choose a mediated or collaborative divorce, you may be sparing your children the stress of constant arguing.
• Shield your children from the fighting. In addition, you should try as hard as you can to avoid fighting in front of your children. Your disagreements are with your spouse, not your children. They do not deserve to be subjected to yelling and screaming about things that are out of their control. If you do have a disagreement with your spouse and you cannot leave your child’s presence, either discuss your issue with your spouse calmly or wait until later.
• Be respectful of your spouse. You should also be careful not to speak rudely of your spouse when your children can hear. Children naturally idolize and form deep connections with their parents, which should not be interrupted just because you and your spouse no longer get along. Show your child that even though you and your spouse disagree, you can still be civil and respect one another.
• Consider seeing a therapist or counselor. When going through major life changes, it can sometimes be beneficial to speak with a therapist or counselor who can help you get your feelings in order. There are therapists out there who specialize in adolescent psychology and who can help your child understand and cope with the divorce situation.

Our DuPage County Divorce Lawyers Are Here For You

Even though it may seem counterintuitive, getting a divorce might be one of the best things you could do for your children. If you are considering a divorce, you should speak with a skilled Elmhurst, IL divorce attorney about your specific concerns. At Weiss-Kunz & Oliver, LLC, we have handled a variety of divorce cases, each with different concerns. To speak with a knowledgeable Illinois divorce lawyer about your case, call our office today at 312-605-4041.

Sources:

https://childmind.org/article/dont-let-your-kids-be-casualties-of-divorce/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/helping-kids-cope/201707/protecting-kids-divorce-tug-wars-10-golden-rules

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/5-ways-to-protect-childre_b_4326799