How Do I Tell My Spouse I Want a Divorce?

 Posted on September 29,2015 in Divorce

Once you decide that divorce is inevitable, how do you tell your spouse? This is a personal decision with legal components. You may wish to consult your lawyer before going through the below options.

The obvious answer may be to tell them outright. You can advise your husband or wife of your desire to dissolve or separate from your marriage orally or in writing (email, text, etc.). However, unless you have consulted a lawyer and gained their agreement, it is often best NOT to put your intentions in writing.

Another option is to tell your spouse during a therapy session. This is a good option for a spouse that anticipates an angry or depressed response.

Alternatively, you can have your lawyer tell your spouse you want a divorce or legal separation. This can be done either informally or formally. Informally is usually done by a letter written from your lawyer to your husband or wife. The letter normally includes the underlying Complaint (Petition for Dissolution of Marriage, Petition for Dissolution of Civil Union, Petition for Legal Separation, or the like) and sets forth your intentions.

Formal service of process involves a Sheriff or Process Server "serving" your spouse with papers, typically known as "you've been served." Being served can be scary for some people and may cause more litigation at the start of your case; however, legally it is required unless your spouse waives this right.

Ways to avoid telling your spouse (excepting circumstances of violence or personality disorders or the like): through your children, friends or family members.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact the attorneys at Weiss-Kunz & Oliver, LLC. Call 312-605-4041 to schedule an initial consultation.